Today I met someone who’s gender identity is similar to mine and feels the same way that I do about Veganism, social justice, the binary, yoga, polyamoury, fertility, feminism/equality… the list goes on and on and on.
It blew me away and I don’t remember a time I’ve connected with a person on so many levels so quickly (and agreed so much!). We chatted for two hours in a coffee shop before I had to get to another appointment, but I feel like we could have spent all day discussing our views about the world.
Making connections with various people, each of whom feed a different aspect of your personality is so important. I never really realised how important this was until today. Obviously this connection comes in many forms, from having more than one friend through to having more than one sexual partner.
The conversations I had with this person today really opened up my thinking on not only having multiple sexual relationships but emotional ones also. It made me see it was possible. Possible in terms of ‘it can be done and done successfully’, but also possible personally for me and my relationship.
I have much in common with the partner that I live with, we laugh constantly and share much of our lives together. We aren’t sexually monogamous and whilst this is something we’re both very happy with, the idea of one of us falling in love or having the intense emotional connection that we have with each other, with another person is a concept we’ve both found difficult to get our heads around.
Today made me see though, how vital to our wellbeing it is to have these different connections because our individual personality is so multi-faceted that one person alone is not able to meet all of our intellectual and spiritual needs. As much as we may sometimes wish that was possible.
I’m not saying that having intense emotional connections with more than one person is what every individual needs. You do what’s right for you at the time. There are many many many forms of non-monogamy and relationships come in all different shapes and sizes. We gain connection from our platonic relationships as well as our sexual ones.
Make connections that get your brain excited. Have conversations that thrill you. It really is ultimately liberating.